A few days ago I was talking with a friend about some of the nuances and setting features in Facebook that a lot of people don’t use to their advantage. In running through this list I came to the conclusion that there are several parallels between what you do on Facebook and how you handle your social life. Perhaps we can take lessons from one and apply it to the other.
Here are 4 lessons that you can learn from how you manage your Facebook account.
1. HIDING PEOPLE
You are the protector of your Facebook wall, just as you are the protector of your life and your space and who you allow into it. Often times you’ll have situations where a friend or someone you’re connected with posts status updates that you simply don’t agree with or that rub you the wrong way. How you handle what you see on your wall is completely up to you. Do you respond back, like “hey you shouldn’t post these negative comments on Facebook”? If so, you might get responses like “its my account and I will do what I want” or “freedom of speech.” They are right. They have the choice to post whatever they want, and YOU have the choice to accept it and allow it to be a part of the feed you see daily, or to hide their posts. You can even select what kind of posts you want to see from that friend, ranging from none-at-all or life events and everything. Make your choices wisely and keep your wall clean.
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LIFE LESSON: Do you have friends that are being toxic and it’s taking a lot of energy for you to keep up or express your views about the situation? You are the decider of who gets time in your precious life. Maybe its time to reevaluate how much time you give someone who’s being toxic. Making a choice about how much time certain people get in your life is important. And, just as with Facebook, when you free up time that was originally be toxified, you allow for more of the positive, happy people to easily fill that wall and your space.
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2. RESPONDING TO COMMENTS/POSTS
Have you ever posted something awesome on Facebook, like maybe you were having a happy day and you wanted to share, only to have someone post a negative comment on your thread? How did that happen? And what can you do about it? I have on more than one occasion deleted someone’s comment to my status update simply because it didn’t vibe well with all the good energy I put out. And then on other occasions I have acknowledged the comment and said “thank you for your opinion.” I’m generally not open to arguing on Facebook for the world to see. I imagine that if what someone said truly upset me, I would reach out to them personally in a message and discuss it with them there. And even here, it’s not that we need to see eye to eye, just that he or she knows where I stand on the subject.
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LIFE LESSON: How do you handle disagreements with your friends? Do you address them with that friend, privately, or do you involve other people and let everyone know about this debate so they can join in too? Allowing others to be part of what should be a personal discussion often adds unnecessary fuel to the fire and can lessen the likelihood of reaching a reasonable conclusion. We’re all responsible adults, and while it might be tempting to let everyone know about a personal debate, it’s always better to think of how you want the situation to end over actions taking place in the heat of the moment.
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3. CLEANSING YOUR FRIEND LIST
You have how many friends?!?!?! Facebook has made some great changes to help you handle your friend list. You can sort them into close friends, acquaintances and some other categories too. You can select settings that control what they see and can’t see from you and vise versa. But sometimes, a good ol’ fashion cleansing of your friend list is important. I guarantee you some of the random folks you’ve met once or twice in your life will not even notice that you’re not following them anymore. This also clears clutter on your wall and lets more of your important friends and family shine through.
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LIFE LESSON: If you aren’t reaching points in your life where you evaluate where you stand with your friends and whether or not the relationship is mutually beneficial, I would seriously recommend take a look at who you call friends. You are the company you keep. There are certain people in your contact list that are more than rising to the occasion of being an awesome friend of yours, but there are others who are not. Know the difference, and be mindful of who gets your time.
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4. MANAGING SELF CONTROL
We live in a society where Facebook is almost like a nervous tick for us. We have to check it constantly, several times a day. It has become part of a daily routine. It’s scary to think of any statistic that actively tracks how much time we spend on Facebook updating people about even the tiniest details of our lives. I have no argument for Facebook being a part of our modern day culture. I do think we need to take responsibility for ourselves and our time, putting tactics in place to make sure we’re not spending too much time on Facebook. You should be spending more time living your life then updating people on it.
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LIFE LESSON: Are there things in your life that you’re doing simply because you just can’t get away from them? And are these things eating up your productivity time, making it impossible to get things done. Be honest with yourself. This is your life. If you need to come up with your own system, like “I check FB only on my lunch break,” then that is okay. Find out what works for you and then hold yourself accountable.
Jess Watson is the CEO & Creative Director of Points North Studio. She's the co-organizer of Baltimore Womxn in Tech, a big believer in Baltimore city, and a pioneer of working remotely while traveling the globe.
